changes

Here is the thing about not compulsively overeating: certain things have to change. My friend is dying more quickly than anyone had expected. She's at home now for hospice care and positioned facing the lake outside her living room window like she wanted. She's in and out of consciousness. I called her husband and asked him to tell her that she doesn't need to spend one moment worrying about me, that I'll be just fine, and that I love her. He said that he would whisper that in her ear as soon as he got off the phone. He said that he was so sorry I didn't get a chance to see her. I said it was OK. Then I got off the phone and cried on and off for the rest of the night.
Another thing that happened: I realized that I'm absolutely done with being spoken to angrily. Now I don't mean that people can occasionally take issue with me or that I won't tolerate any arguments or disagreements from anyone, but I'm finished with the irritated stream of crap from a certain family member. So I told him. I told him I was done. And I told him he could make up his mind and let me know if he needed to move out or if he was willing to stay with these new limits. I actually said that as far as I was concerned, our relationship was over, but I was open to starting again on a new footing and seeing if there was actually anything there. We both knew that I meant every word.

I am also done with a couple of my "friends". Because if I can lose Margie, then I can lose the crap that I've been accepting from certain people.